NOTHING WILL BE SAVED

I sense it coming on
hot vibration, like an electric current
the light compressed
series of image experiences
just enough to torture me with deja vu
just enough to remember the forboding

here is the ever present broken dichotomy
I can't hear you over its silent noise
I see it as a geyser spewing energy
of unknown origin
towards an unknown destination
washing away meaning,
leaving behind the bla[n](c)k canvas
of post mortemism
moving me into the realm of incongruity
st(r)uck with words hanging out of my mouth
like tendrils of emesis
symptomatic
from this disease of conscious thought
bound to action
through the process of alienation
will I make it through?
I know some part of me has to die
but will it be the part that keeps me alive?
still just feeling so heavy,
suspecting nanotech:
microscopic chemical warheads detonate
and spill their nerve agents all over my synapses
it's in the peanut butter and the puppy chow
i've seen so many others dealing with it too
these words are all i have left of spent privilege
it brings me no meaning, leaves me no meaning
doubt i'll live to see the day
or would even be able to recognize it
should things return to a state of equilibrium.....
without needing to find that one reason left to
indulge in my cortisol addiction
sick of the same problems
leading to the same situations
leading to the same tensions
leading to the same conclusions
leading to the same delusions......